Dear UCAN Friends,
Most of us know that uneasy feeling when a challenging conversation is sitting in the background, waiting to happen. There is something that needs to be said, perhaps a clarification, a boundary, a correction, or a truth that might not be easy to hear. For church administrators, these moments are often part of the role. They show up in conversations with colleagues, volunteers, church leaders and sometimes congregants. They can feel heavy, especially when relationships matter and tensions already exist.
Scripture does not pretend that these moments are rare or avoidable. Instead, it offers us wisdom for how to approach them.
Proverbs 25:11 reminds us:
"A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings."
The right words, offered at the right time and in the right way, carry great value. They can bring clarity, restore trust and open the door to healing.
Difficult conversations are part of faithful service
Throughout the Bible, even deeply faithful people were called to speak hard truths. Nathan confronted King David about his sin. Paul challenged Peter when his actions did not align with the gospel. Jesus Himself spoke words that unsettled people, not to shame them, but to draw them towards life and truth.
One striking example comes in Mark 10:21, when Jesus speaks to the rich young ruler:
"Jesus looked at him and loved him. 'You lack one thing,' he said. 'Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'"
The truth was costly, but it was spoken in love. In our own contexts, difficult conversations are rarely about dramatic moral failings. They are more often about expectations, communication, pressure points and misunderstandings. Yet they still require courage and care.
The heart behind our words matters
Proverbs 15:1 tells us:
"A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath."
And Proverbs 15:2 adds:
"The tongue of the wise makes knowledge attractive, but the mouth of fools blurts out foolishness."
Tone matters. We can say the right thing in the wrong way and undo much of the good we hoped for. If our aim is to win an argument, we may lose the relationship. If our aim is to bring understanding or healing, God can work through even imperfect words.
A simple question can be helpful before we speak: am I saying this to help, or to hurt?
Timing requires wisdom
Church life is busy and pressured and it is tempting to deal with issues as soon as they arise. Yet Scripture reminds us that timing is part of wisdom.
Ecclesiastes 3:7 says there is:
"a time to tear and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak."
Truth spoken at the wrong moment can land on closed ears. Sometimes the most faithful choice is to wait, to pray and to trust that another moment will come. Discernment grows as we learn to ask not only what needs to be said, but when.
Speak the truth in love
Paul writes in Ephesians 4:15:
"Speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head, Christ."
Truth without love can wound. Love without truth can mislead. But truth shaped by love has the power to transform. Love influences our wording, softens our tone and reminds us that every conversation involves someone deeply valued by God.
God can use your words to heal
Proverbs 15:23 offers this encouragement:
"A person takes joy in giving an answer, and how good is a timely word!"
A timely word can calm a tense situation, restore a strained relationship, guide someone away from harm or bring hope to someone who is weary. Sometimes a single sentence, spoken prayerfully, can even change the direction of someone's life.
As church administrators, we are often at the centre of communication. We hold information, mediate concerns and help others navigate complexity. God does not ask us to do this alone. When we allow the Holy Spirit to guide our words, our tone and our timing, even difficult conversations can become instruments of grace.
So when a challenging conversation comes into view, pause and pray with confidence rather than fear. Trust that God is already at work, preparing hearts as well as words. Church administration is full of moments where clarity, kindness and courage are needed and God delights in meeting us there.
You might simply pray:
"Lord, give me words in due season."
As you do, trust that He can shape your words into something life giving. When guided by His Spirit, even ordinary conversations can reflect His grace. Like apples of gold in silver settings, timely words offered with love, can bring healing, wisdom and quiet hope into the everyday life of the church.
Yours in Christ
Jon Drayton
UCAN Manager member